I grew up in a very conservative family. Going to church on Sundays and always show a good image to everybody outside the family. Never show f there is anything wrong or struggling. I knew we were struggling as we had to ask friends when our delivery van broke down and we couldn’t afford a new one. We never went on vacations, however, to be fair, we had a farm and if you have animals, you cannot really go anywhere.
I remember, being 11 years old, my best friend and I from school, were talking about some of our female classmates.
“What do you think who is the most attractive?”, I guess we started early;-)
In order to feed our curiosity, we came to the idea to open up a shopping catalog. You know, at that time there was no Internet, no sex videos, no porn, nothing. So we went to the good old “mail order catalog” from Sears, Montgomery Ward (US), Quelle or Otto (GER) and looked at swimsuits, bikinis, women’s underwear and bath accessories, in the hopes to glimpse some female features. What a time that was.
Overall, I think it was actually great to not be exposed to all the ready available porn, 24/7. You needed some imagination to see what is the big deal about all this. Over the next 2 years, my friend and I explored a bit our bodies together when parents weren’t home. One day he had a sex magazine he found in the parents bathroom behind the cabinet. We, of course, sucked it all in and looked at the pictures like it was pure gold.
Even though we played with each other, I don’t think we were gay, as we never actually had sex or did oral sex at all. We were just fascinated by the other persons body, and even more at a female body, as it was so far out of reach.
One night in my bed, being 13 years old, I was thinking about sex. I had those teenage feelings but I knew it was wrong, or at least, that is what I have been told. So I was thinking,
“We all have an asshole, maybe that is what women use too?”
So, that is were the pen comes into play!
I went to my desk in my room which was in the basement of the house. I looked for something that I can use to insert into my asshole. I got a pen, yes, a plain old pen. I knew I have to be gentle to not injure myself as that would be very embarrassing, so I used the back side of the pen and tried to enter my anus. As you can imagine, that didn’t work. I figured I need some lube in order to be successful. I went to the bathroom and used some soapy water to lube my anus, and that is how it all started. Over 40 years ago, at night with a pen.
