A couple of days ago I replied to a Reddit post on the current dating scene. While this blog is not about dating, I see so many people struggling with exactly that. Here is my reply to that post.
OK, here is some advice. After being happily married for 14 years with a woman my age, a 4 year awesome relationship with a woman 14 years younger, many good dates in between and married again with a woman 10 years older, I can chip in here a bit.
I am an introvert, an IT nerd really. Lived all over the world but meet many beautiful and interesting women. I meet my wife on Tinder, 8 years ago. We have been married for 7 years now.
Before that, I had many Tinder dates and here is what I think is important. Be an interesting man.
Nobody, men and women alike, are attracted to people that are boring. That does not mean that just because you sit at home all day coding that you are boring, you have to show your interesting side. For example: If you are into gaming, show that on your profile. If you love nature, if you love art, travel, foods, culture, show that. Use pictures that show your passion. When going on a date, dress appropriately. Do not come in shorts and cap or Mickey Mouse shirts or hoodies… Go to Zara and dress to impress. No woman wants a man sitting across that looks like a comic book.
On the countless dates I was, that was the biggest complaints that women told me of their past dates. Believe me, once you dress up nicely, you feel better yourself. Just think that a woman going on a date takes at least 30-60 minutes to prepare, so honer that and do the same. Shower, shave and look as if you go to an important job interview. Be genuine, talk about the things you like. Feel the person across the table if they resonate with what you are talking about. If not, switch to another subject that you like till you find common ground. Be a gentleman, pay for the food, open the door, be old school.
At the end, it is not about your body, looks or if you have money or not, it is about that you can be a person that provides security, that is able to lead but also has a heart and is open to let your partner be in control too. A relationship is a give and take business. You have to be in tune with the other person and feel if something is not right.
And, most important.
NEVER, I MEAN NEVER, be close minded against race, color, age or nationality and you will find your soul mate. Be open as your like minded partner might not look or come from what you expect.
This is an overview which I think is important. At the end of the day, we all want to be with somebody that understands our needs and feeling.
